Dear Desi Aunties,
Stop asking me when I'm getting married. You're honestly really annoying, and I'm not sure why my getting married (or lack thereof) is such a concern to you. I get that I'm about to be labeled as disrespectful for saying that. But let’s be real, you low-key enjoy throwing shade because you feel that for some reason it's your God given right. No, it isn't. You might be just one aunty, but understand that collectively, you have ruined lives. Stop treating a woman's education like it's their bio line for real life tinder; a status symbol. "Our daughter has a degree, and she is well spoken, yet knows not to speak too much either." I don't understand why you’d think that a girl with an education/independence hates marriage. We don't. We hate you constantly throwing that shit in our face as though we have zero value unless someone weds us. Furthermore, stop treating girls older than 25 years of age as though they're expired goods when it comes to fertility. You have no idea how much of that you've ingrained in us - to the point where we've stopped enjoying the present because of the constant fear for our future. Stop treating me like I have no value because I didn't get married by 23 and have a baby by 25. Maybe your heart is in the right place, but if it is, then how about instead of throwing around bullshit jabs about how girls shouldn't be too picky, you be sincere and just pray for the person to find happiness? And honestly, I get that this stems from wisdom - but ya'll are like Cosmo magazine on steroids: What to do to make you more marriageable.
I honestly never understood this world until now. I never truly understood how harsh this world is. All of a sudden, it's like my marital status is the only topic of conversation available. It's like none of my other accomplishments in life mean shit until I can also accomplish wifey status. Is it because that's the only world you knew? Because you know, there isn't just one "right way".
You know what else grinds my gears? You do this so much without realizing it. You act like a man wanting to marry one of us is something we should bow down and be grateful for. Wait what? Why? Can you honestly answer that 'why' for me? Is it because at the end of the day that's going to be our saving grace? That if a woman is too independent, that it will throw off a man’s equilibrium. That if a woman has goals, she should pray she can find a husband who 'allows' her to pursue them. Meanwhile, I don't hear you telling men that they better hope that their wife is okay with the way they dress, or if they can cook, or choose between taking care of kids and having a career. In fact I can feel your anger just reading that last sentence. How dare she. And no, for God's sake, women aren't "competing with men" so stop being so freaking threatened. There's no competition. I'm not pursuing an education or career so I can be a man. I'm pursuing an education and career because I freaking want to. The end. So, get off your high horse and stop shaming the girls who aren't married. Stop acting like your wisdom is what's going to save the world, and for God's sake, stop asking girls when they're going to get married. The answer to your stupid question by the way? If or when it is meant to be. That's when.
If you haven't seen the video this letter coincides with, check it out!